Home Sweet Home? Not So Much.

My younger brother, Rocco, is a senior in high school and is already starting to look into various colleges of interest, touring and getting the word on the street about each different school.

Tear.

Lately, I’ve been trying to think of different ways I could help him out, obviously being an experienced collegiate girl of ceaseless wisdom. Ha. But when I think of college and what kinds of things he should be researching and also looking forward to, I think of many different aspects – the quality of the school, campus beauty, a new level of classes, extracurricular activities and, of course, living with roommates.

And that’s when a flood of horror stories immediately deluged my thoughts and I became a nervous big sister.

I remember reading a “Letter to the Editor” in The Post at the end of my freshman year, posted to the Web site on May 13, 2008, about another Ohio University freshman, Chris Uihlein, who had a horrifying roommate experience. He decided to take a chance and branch out by being a random roommate in a triple already chosen by two other boys – two other uninviting, homophobic boys.

Through Facebook, these other boys realized that Chris was gay. They asked him to retract his decision to live in the room, but at that point, it was too late for Chris to back out. The boys retorted with cruel messages and nasty, demeaning Facebook statuses that declared their disgust for his sexuality, making it all that much more difficult for Chris to be an openly gay person, which is something that everyone should have the utmost respect for to begin with.

Those boys slipped up that day by being so completely closed-minded that they may have missed out on a respectful, fun roommate and potentially great friendship. They also messed up in assuming that Chris, being gay, would automatically lust after them and rub off on them, or whatever they assumed about him that constituted their inhumanity toward him. It’s sickening, really.

I tend to think that roommate blunders can make some of the most fascinating (and for the people involved, most irritating) blunders. Though I’m willing to talk about some of my favorite – and by favorite, I mean wildest – instances, I do want to keep all names anonymous out of respect for those involved. Therefore, all names used in the following anecdotes have been changed.

A girl I recently met, Rachel, is a freshman here at OU. Her roommate, Megan, is involved in Campus Crusade, an extracurricular activity that focuses on devotion to Christ. While Rachel is supportive of Megan’s activity, Megan disagrees with Rachel’s decision to drink and indulge in some of the new things that college has presented to her. Instead of being mutually supportive, Megan chastises Rachel and makes it known that she disagrees with Rachel’s lifestyle.

A friend of mine, Sarah, an OU junior, had a roommate freshman year who chose not to be cleanly and pick up after herself. It got bad enough to the point that her roommate stuck a dirty pad to the floor – sticky side down, dirty side up. And it sat there for far longer than it should have. Sarah was disgusted at the site of it, not to mention the germs and health hazards that her roommate’s actions caused.

Matt, another OU freshman I recently met, has a roommate with an intriguing issue – porn addiction. Though Matt’s not entirely sure that it’s a clinically diagnosed, actual addiction, from what he has seen, he feels as though it is. Apparently, his roommate watches pornographic films and videos entirely too often.

These situations amaze me. While I understand personality clashes, I also think it’s important to at least try to bend a little, maybe just enough to just meet someone in the middle and coexist peacefully.

My other two roommates, Morgan and Allyson, have been living together since freshman year. I just kind of jumped on that bandwagon this fall. They get along famously, though their personalities are quite different. The two of them have really learned to make it work. The following videos are nice displays of their roommate teamwork. Pay no mind to any other part of each video other than the clips I specifically directed to play, as the other parts of the videos are irrelevant.

Here's a clip from my interview with Morgan about life with Allyson:

Morgan gives a tour of the apartment, showing the difference between her and Allyson:

I wholeheartedly back the phrase: “To each his own.” But when “his own” is affecting another’s “own” or even another’s well being, then I think it’s time to cut the shit and learn to share space.

Until next time, cheers!

That's What He Said

I am an absolute victim to the verbal blunder.

As much as I try to avoid social discomfort, it is sometimes out of my hands. Perhaps I mention that I disagree with a specific organization, and that organization’s leader is standing next to me. Or I complain about someone in my class that irritates me and that person’s cousin overhears the conversation.

But in each of these instances, I don’t realize that what I’m saying is offensive. Though I have poor luck with social blunders and these situations happen to me unfortunately often, I refuse to say something that I know will be offensive.

I have always wondered why it’s apparently cool to use certain ordinary words in a blatantly offensive manner. For example, I have heard someone deem a couch “retarded.” I was unaware that pieces of furniture had mental capacities.

A good friend of mine told me a story the other day about a blunder that affected her in quite an adverse way.

Here’s the scoop:

Her friends introduced her to a great guy, and she decided that she might be amorously interested in this certain someone. On the other hand, this guy was absolutely certain of his romantic interest in her. Things went pretty well for the first week or two.

After a while, he took her out. Later on in the night, his friends showed up to say hello. Upon their arrival, this guy underwent a bit of a personality turnaround. He changed from sweetheart to total “bro” in a hot minute.

His friends brought with them an energy that sucked this poor guy in, allowing an alternate, testosterone-powered side of his personality to come through. This side was unfortunately not a side that his date, my friend, was very fond of.

He started using terms such as “gay,” “homo” and “faggot” to describe things that were not homosexual. My friend, being a social and political aficionado, was both astonished and disappointed that this guy had so easily fallen into the vicious trap of offensive yet popular verbal blunders because of pressure from his friends.

I asked my friend, Pat Henderson, what he thought about this blunder. Here's what he had to say:

Hearing this anecdote left me thinking about whether or not that word choice was typical of this guy or if he was just nervous and gave in too easily to his friends. Either way, my friend instantly gained a negative perception of the guy she hoped would be different.

Though he (and many others) may not particularly see his poor word choice as a blunder, other people are seriously offended by such references. He, unfortunately, wasn’t even aware of the fact that such a simple slip cost him the respect of a girl he esteems so highly. It’s a sad situation that could easily have been avoided by simply thinking of others when speaking. So often, our words do more than just speak out loud.

Until next time, cheers!