That's What He Said

I am an absolute victim to the verbal blunder.

As much as I try to avoid social discomfort, it is sometimes out of my hands. Perhaps I mention that I disagree with a specific organization, and that organization’s leader is standing next to me. Or I complain about someone in my class that irritates me and that person’s cousin overhears the conversation.

But in each of these instances, I don’t realize that what I’m saying is offensive. Though I have poor luck with social blunders and these situations happen to me unfortunately often, I refuse to say something that I know will be offensive.

I have always wondered why it’s apparently cool to use certain ordinary words in a blatantly offensive manner. For example, I have heard someone deem a couch “retarded.” I was unaware that pieces of furniture had mental capacities.

A good friend of mine told me a story the other day about a blunder that affected her in quite an adverse way.

Here’s the scoop:

Her friends introduced her to a great guy, and she decided that she might be amorously interested in this certain someone. On the other hand, this guy was absolutely certain of his romantic interest in her. Things went pretty well for the first week or two.

After a while, he took her out. Later on in the night, his friends showed up to say hello. Upon their arrival, this guy underwent a bit of a personality turnaround. He changed from sweetheart to total “bro” in a hot minute.

His friends brought with them an energy that sucked this poor guy in, allowing an alternate, testosterone-powered side of his personality to come through. This side was unfortunately not a side that his date, my friend, was very fond of.

He started using terms such as “gay,” “homo” and “faggot” to describe things that were not homosexual. My friend, being a social and political aficionado, was both astonished and disappointed that this guy had so easily fallen into the vicious trap of offensive yet popular verbal blunders because of pressure from his friends.

I asked my friend, Pat Henderson, what he thought about this blunder. Here's what he had to say:

Hearing this anecdote left me thinking about whether or not that word choice was typical of this guy or if he was just nervous and gave in too easily to his friends. Either way, my friend instantly gained a negative perception of the guy she hoped would be different.

Though he (and many others) may not particularly see his poor word choice as a blunder, other people are seriously offended by such references. He, unfortunately, wasn’t even aware of the fact that such a simple slip cost him the respect of a girl he esteems so highly. It’s a sad situation that could easily have been avoided by simply thinking of others when speaking. So often, our words do more than just speak out loud.

Until next time, cheers!